More often than not, I hear the word “stress” brought up in my personal and professional conversations. It’s real, although it cannot be tangibly seen, and it comes to us all in one form or another. Stress, by definition, is a feeling of being tense, overwhelmed, worn out, or exhausted. A small amount of stress can motivate, but too much stress makes even small tasks seem daunting. Sometimes stress accumulates many minor hassles, while other times, it results from significant life changes or long-term problems. This always leads to the universal question: How can we handle stress instead of stress handling us?

A biblical reference says, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is.” (Proverbs 23:7KJV). Since the beginning of time, our thoughts have governed every internal and external action and are the driving force of our actions. It dictates when to turn left or right, when to stay or go, and how our emotions will react to what’s happening every day. In 2020 the Nature Communication Journal published a study that suggested people typically have more than 6,000 thoughts daily. The results from the study also implied that our thoughts birth additional thoughts that motivate the direction of more “wormhole” type thoughts. Think about it for a second. This means the framework of our positive and negative thought patterns directs how and where we go with the life circumstances or events we are experiencing. This creates a domino effect in our thinking.

This leads me to discuss how we deal with or think about our stress. Stressors again can include daily hassles, family dealings, and day-to-day encounters with various people. Stress can occur in both announced and unannounced incidents in our everyday lives, which can be routine or major changes or circumstances. Perhaps you saw it coming, and maybe you didn’t at all. When stress is at its worst, hobbies, relationships, and free time are neglected. As a result, stress worsens. This creates a cycle where self-care is neglected, and stress grows.

How to deal with stress depends on how you think or frame it. It takes practice but is very doable. However, the more we neglect ourselves and our self-care, the harder it becomes to overcome stress. Mental self-care on your thinking is essential, as is learning about your stressors and protective factors (how you deal with everything). Below is an example of Stress Exploration cited from the therapist toolbox.

Stress Management Strategies

1. Build Resilience: Resilience refers to the ability to handle stress when it arises and to protect oneself against future stress. Research has shown that several qualities contribute to resilience, including social support, optimism, humor, spirituality, self-esteem, and adaptability. Many of these qualities can be fostered in therapy.
2. Relaxation Techniques: Relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation, are a fundamental part of stress management. These techniques trigger the relaxation response, which counters the body’s stress response.
3. Time Management: When you have too much to do, balancing responsibilities and fitting them into a busy schedule is a common stressor. Time management skills can reduce the mental burden of juggling tasks and increase the likelihood that everything gets done.
4. Self-Care:“Self-care” refers to your favorite activities that help you relax, have fun, or feel energized. These could include talking with a friend, going for a walk, reading, listening to music, or whatever else you enjoy. The important part of self-care is not so much what you do—it’s just that you do it.
5. Cognitive Restructuring: Stress is caused by our thoughts about a situation, not the situation itself. Two people in the same situation might have different stress levels (or no stress) just because of how they think about it. Often, the thoughts that cause stress are irrational or exaggerated, but we respond to them as factual. Irrational thoughts that lead to stress may look like the following: “I’ll never get through this.” “I have to be perfect all the time.” “If I don’t get an A on the test, I’m a total failure.”

So, if you feel the pressures of stress, stop and think about it. Then reframe yourself, think positive, think wise, be humble and ask for support if needed. Recognize when your stressors might lead you down a rabbit hole of negative thoughts and feelings. Remember, as every beginning ultimately has an ending, this too will pass.